Why Bad Pregnancies Happen to Good People…
Ladies and gentlemen, put those pencils down!
As of ten, this fine September morning, I have officially been labeled “severely preeclamptic”. So what does that mean? Well, a number of things. The best lay person resource we’ve been able to find is the Mayo Clinic site. Basically, it’s a malfunctioning of the placenta which leads to kidney and liver failure, spiking blood pressure and protein spilling into your pee. Yeah, that’s right. I said pee.
The most dangerous thing for the baby is something called IUGR which is, basically, limited growth due to the dang placenta, again.
Right, so, I’ve been right on the edge between moderate and severe for two and a half weeks, now, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
As I mentioned, this morning, we finally got the 300+ mg of protein they’ve been looking for. That, together with my rising blood pressure readings and confirmed IUGR (at 35.3 weeks, Gavin’s measuring about 30 weeks. Yikes!) we’ve been given our official eviction notice.
Our induction will begin tonight at 6pm.
Is this my ideal form of birthing? Nope.
Do I care that this is not going to be my crunchy granola natural birth that I had with Kai? Nope.
At this point, I want him out, where I can see him, where he can get everything he needs to start growing into a healthy, chubby baby that I can snuzzle.
So how am I feeling about this, you ask? Oh, you didn’t ask? Well, I’ll tell you.
I’m really angry with my body.
Yeah, I get that the last part doesn’t make any sense but listen!
I have always been an athlete, a vegetarian since I was 9 and a vegan from 16 to 26. I have a freakishly low heart rate, great endurance and all sorts of other indicators of being a pretty annoyingly healthy person. I don’t smoke. I drink occasionally. My most life threatening hobby is scuba diving.
I have to say that this entire thing has been a very strange eyeopening experience for me.
I used to associate preeclampsia with unhealthy lifestyles. You know, high blood pressure, excessive weight gain (I’ve lost 15lbs of fluid since getting put on bed rest), malfunctioning organs, these things are not usually hand in hand with people who “take care” of their bodies.
I obviously have a very different outlook. I got a very stern lecture by my midwife, this morning about blaming myself for this. There is, pretty much, not a thing I could have done to prevent it.
As a mom, I’ll always probably feel some sense of guilt for not providing a home for my kiddo to safely stay until the time was really right but that’s emotional, not logical.
I can call my body a temple but hurricanes happen.
When all is said and done, it’s not really about me or my body or my ego; it’s about my little guy and my family and our future health.
Yes, I’m milking this post for all it’s worth because I’ll probably be out of blogging range for a bit, now. Just wanted to get those final words out there. Thanks again to all for all of your love and support. And yes, there will be more pictures than you can possibly stand, very soon.